Pizza bagel

8/14/2012 11:14PM

Eric: You are so naked and sexy. I just want to eat a pizza bagel off your stomach.

Lang: Don't be gross.

Eric: Mmmm, pizza bagel.

The Sexy Sprint in the Olympics

August 5th, 2012 9:56PM

Eric: I'm gonna run in the Olympics tomorrow.
Lang: What?
Eric: It's a one hundred yard sexy sprint. Gotta get the women to come.
Lang: Wow.
Eric: I think I'm gonna lose.

Olympic Race

July 27th, 2012 2:14AM

Eric: Do we have an Olympic race tomorrow or are we sleeping in?

Lang: Olympic race?

Eric: It's a couple sex race. Me and you. Go to London.

Lang: Haha, is it a race or a marathon?

Eric: Yes. It's a race for you to make me come the fastest. Ready. Set. Go...you fall behind. You lose.

Shevangbang

July 7th, 2012 12:42AM

Shevangbang. Bangmang. Bangbang. Mang. Oi. Fucker. 

Boob shelf

July 7, 2012 1:04AM

Her boobs were so big. I just want to sit on them. Like a shelf.

Drunken to Mira Mesa

July 2, 2012 12:29AM

At least the drunken from there is not the drunken to Mira Mesa.

Diablo and Cotixan

06/09/12 1:00 AM

Eric: We need to go to Cotixan and defeat it so it can drop items.

Lang: What the hell are you talking about.

Eric: Cotixan! Items! White is a taco. Blue is magic, a burrito. Yellow is, oh, yellow is rare. It's a california burrito. 

Lang: I'm sorry dear, I don't know what that means.

Eric: U-TURN! U-TURN! We need a yellow!

Rusty and Convoy

5/26/12 12:26AM

(Phone rings.)

Lang: Eric. Your phone. (He answers, half awake.)

Eric: Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello.

(He hangs up and rolls over.)

Lang: Who was that?

Eric: Convoy

Lang: Convoy?

Eric: The Convoy. The shopping center. You know. At Convoy.

(Phone shows voicemail.)

Lang: You have a voice mail message.

(He listens to the message. All I hear is a man's voice saying "Eric, you fucked me...".

Lang: Who was that?

Eric: Rusty. Drunk. Made a bet that I wouldn't pick up my phone.

Lang: Hahaha. And what's with Convoy?

Eric: The Convoy. Picked up the phone. (Snores).